Maybe you feel alone and isolated through perimenopause / menopause. Are you thinking “Why am I always so angry? Where is this rage coming from? Why cann’t I remember things anymore? Why are the hot flushes so intense and so frequent? Will this ever end? Will I ever go back to the way I was or is this it? ….

When you find yourself looping mentally, it’s time to reflect inwards and seek help. The way through it is not by avoiding the changes, it’s by meeting it and facing it head on with love and compassion.

Maybe you find yourself criticising your body and your eating / exercise habits. You are suddenly gaining weight, your hair is thinning and you are starting to go grey and you are thinking “WTF is going on?”.. Or perhaps you’ve started looking at younger women and comparing yourself to them and you’ve notice yu are starting to judge women who are younger than you.

When you find yourself relentlessly comparing yourself to others, it’s time to develop a new relationship with your body.

Maybe you find yourself wondering “if sex is even worth the effort anymore?”. Maybe your labido is gone or maybe you are dry and it’s not enjoyable anymore. Perhaps orgasms are a thing of the past and the effort feels too much.

They say “if you don’t use it, you’ll loose it” so when you find yourself ‘loosing it'“, it’s time to develop new pleasure habits and patterns.

Maybe you can feel a life cycle ending … perhaps your children are almost in college and your relationship isn’t what it use to be. You re wondering, “What’s next?” You are no longer the same person. Have you made the right decisions? Will your marriage last since you live like flatmates rather than lovers? Is perimenopause clouding your thinking?

When you find yourself second guessing all your life choices, it’s time to reflect inwards while also seeking help and guidance. You don’t have to go through this alone. (many of our mothers endured menopause alone but we don’t have to; we can break this cycle of ‘aloneness’).

We have all been there … when you look at life and all just feels hard. We get into a rut and feel negative about everything….you are wondering “Is this it? .. How did I ned up here?… Suddenly you find yourself in your 40s and your energy has dropped significantly and you are thinking … “There’s so much more I thought I would have achieved by now … perhaps it’s too late… have I missed the boat”.

When you find yourself craving for a different life, wishing you had “done more” … it’s time to reconnect to your hearts desires and start bringing these desires to life.

Maybe you are carving depth of intimacy and satisfying s3x with their partners/husband. eg. You want more quality time together, deeper connection in your relationships, more date nights. etc.

When you enter a new phase of your life (like menopause) it’s always worth re-establishing the purpose of any significant relationship and this is especially true for long term partners. It’s time to get clear on what you want now and what you can contribute to the relationship.

Maybe you don’t know how you got here but you are certainly doing things for everyone else and your wants and needs always come last. Actually, if someone asked you what you want, you would struggle to answer because you are so used to prioritising everyone else first.

When you find yourself resentful towards others because you are doing too much, it’s time to looks at your boundaries and break the ‘martyrdom cycle” and reconnect to your own wants and desires.